Best writing yet.

I now understand why authors often times drink all the time. It brings out the imaginative juices found within your being. I had the best writing session with the most creativity yet while drunk. Writing is difficult, but with a little liquid courage, I overcame the obstacle I faced with getting some more done. I won't be making it a habit, but I will be trying to do better. Still.

And Stay Out…!

I seem to have gotten past some of my writer's block at last. It is so nice. I may not be going in order like I normally do, which I am enjoying honestly. I am always so anal about how I write, but I think that is what my main issue is and why I start to hate writing after a while. I am back to loving it. It is rather nice actually, which I stop being so controlling and having to have it done a certain way. Eventually, I may be able to piece it all together in the story line.

Silence to the Brain Some Good

Just a quick update since I haven't written an entry in a while.

After a much needed break from writing, today I am returning to my word processor and continuing my efforts to write. It is not as easy as I had hoped it would be (like I've said), but I am not going to give up. I have wanted this for so long.

Until next time.

Who ordered the fried brain?

If I am not writing, I am thinking about writing. I am thinking about what could happen next and where I could take this story. I spend so much time with my writing on my mind, I am starting to get worn out. I wish I could just turn my brain off for just a couple of days.

For anyone who truly knows me, knows that is easier said than done. I am what is referred to as a “worry wart.” I worry about things that I have no control over, and worry about if I made the right decision with the things I do have control over. I plan, plan, plan and then change the plan while I am following it! It is overwhelming to say the least.

I didn’t write yesterday because I was quite busy, but today I’m home with no real plans. I’ve been staring at the many words I already have written for what seems like an eternity, but has actually been just a few minutes.

I want to write, but where I have placed my characters is not where I want them. And it driving me insane. I am not sure how I want them to meet face to face. Every time I think I’ve got the perfect way, I find myself disappointed. I continue writing though. I will just a few spaces down and start something new with my characters. The idea is that I will eventually be able to piece each section with another to make my many ideas flow together.

I am beginning to understand why many authors are known drinkers.

How in the hell?

I turned to my sister tonight. She has gotten her own book published. It is a non-fiction art piece, but the concept of writing a book is all the same, genre aside. I explained my situation to her, in hopes she had some secret to success that might help me…

Getting my many ideas and thoughts onto my open word document is a lot harder than one might think, especially when your tooth is throbbing with each breath you take. I have created the main characters, plot, back story, and a few details that are needed. I get on a roll, pages get written. I wrote six pages in a period of two hours or so (during naptime of course). My ideas flowing effortlessly from my fingertips. And then, out of no where, I am stumped again. Sometimes, I wish I were great at what I do without much practice.

Her word were simple: practice makes perfect, my love.

Sometimes, I just want to do want to start banging my head on the computer. Dammit, I know she is right by a landslide, but I just want to bash my head into the keyboard! My sister has never steered me wrong and pointed me every right direction. I love her. However, her words sometimes gets me feeling like a fish eating a hooked worm. I hungrily seek out her guidance and get reeled into a truth I sometimes don’t want to be involved with. I love hearing all the things she has to tell me and I never ignore any of it. I may not want to hear it, but I am grateful she is completely honest and there for me. Sometimes, I just want to be lied to, like “writing will always be easy, filled with rainbows, unicorns, and daisies!” (Not really.)

I am going to open my Microsoft Word and get back to writing. Little one is in bed, giving me the time to write.

We're All a Little Mad Here

As I posted yesterday, I had created the plot and characters yesterday. Today, I completed the first chapter with I thought was happiness. Looking at it again, I am not entirely sure I am satisfied with it. It is headed in a nice direction so far, but I see myself changing it for about the third time.

Is this really what authors go through? I suppose "slipping into madness with ease" fits quite well, considering that I see myself going mad over my story a time or two in the future. Seeing as writing runs in my family, I suppose I could be fair in saying, "we're all a little mad here?" (Sorry Sis, couldn't resist!)

My great grandmother had written a book about her mother's life several, several years ago. I don't believe I was even a twinkle in my father's eyes at the time it was released. Her book wasn't a big hit, so barely anyone know who she is. I have one of the only copies left resting peacefully in a safe place. My sister however, published a book quite recently about her experience in crossing that line to understand prejudice. I have read the beginning of it, thanks to amazon. I haven't read the entire book yet, but I will at some point...soon I am hoping. If you are curious about my sister, here is one of her blogs: http://exploringprejudice.blogspot.com/

When it comes to my own writing, I have always wanted to have a novel published with my name on that shiny cover and my imagination locked within those pages. I often times considered just writing the battles and joys I endured as a child/young woman, but could never figure out where to begin. It is a goal I have (writing an autobiography), but I am in no rush. I have only lived a few of my years, so until I am much older, I can hold off.

Finally...

After a day full of thoughts swimming throughout my brain, I am happy to say that I have come up with my main characters, plot, and etc. And I love the set up I have going! So excited to get started. :)

Where to start...

In my attempt to start a new story, I began to look for steps to write. I stumbled upon this on my favorite author's blog. Jeaniene Frost write The Night Huntress series and in my opinion, it is one of the best series I have ever read. Here is the link:
Jeaniene Frost's Guide to Writing

Frustration part 1

My frustrations with my writings are at an all time high. It seems that it is a never ending cycle of creative thoughts and lost memories. The moment I start to get lost in my writing, I get writer's block. Followed by that bump, I lose my stories all together, causing memories to be lost. And no, this is not a one time concurrence. It has happened numerous times. I save them to the computer hard-drive, a junk drive, and they still disappear into the dark abyss in which they will never been heard from or seen again. I do all I can to prevent it from happening, and for over a year, I succeed. But, alas, I have failed yet again. My stories are gone. Six months have passed and still no sign of my memory stick (junk drive).

The story I was working on was (honestly) my best work yet. I loved the entire plot line and everything I had written. Maybe I can take ideas I have from that one and place them into a new story? Who knows. We will see where the next story takes me.

I want to become a writer, even if I end up only making a small amount of money. It'd be nice to live off my earnings, but that is not my initial goal. I have always wanted people to hear what lies within my imagination and thoughts. What is behind this face of mine. I want my opinions of love, deceit, madness, and fantasy to blend together on the pages of a book. Is that truly too much to ask? Maybe, but who is to say for sure.

I am not going to give up on my dream to write, no matter my levels of frustration. I have been an aspiring author since I was young, with little ground to run on. My only issue is that I lose interest after a while. That is where my problems lie for the most part (aside from my stories running off on their own). Most writers are on a schedule. I don't want to be told that I have to write a novel, turn in the final draft, and be completely satisfied by a set date..."or else." I write when the urge comes to me. Not when I am instructed. However, if I am able to complete an entire story/book within their timeline, I wouldn't be one to complain. It'd be a miracle to be honest.

Well, off I go. A timeline is desired to begin writing again. I just hope that this next story I start doesn't disappear too.