We're All a Little Mad Here

As I posted yesterday, I had created the plot and characters yesterday. Today, I completed the first chapter with I thought was happiness. Looking at it again, I am not entirely sure I am satisfied with it. It is headed in a nice direction so far, but I see myself changing it for about the third time.

Is this really what authors go through? I suppose "slipping into madness with ease" fits quite well, considering that I see myself going mad over my story a time or two in the future. Seeing as writing runs in my family, I suppose I could be fair in saying, "we're all a little mad here?" (Sorry Sis, couldn't resist!)

My great grandmother had written a book about her mother's life several, several years ago. I don't believe I was even a twinkle in my father's eyes at the time it was released. Her book wasn't a big hit, so barely anyone know who she is. I have one of the only copies left resting peacefully in a safe place. My sister however, published a book quite recently about her experience in crossing that line to understand prejudice. I have read the beginning of it, thanks to amazon. I haven't read the entire book yet, but I will at some point...soon I am hoping. If you are curious about my sister, here is one of her blogs: http://exploringprejudice.blogspot.com/

When it comes to my own writing, I have always wanted to have a novel published with my name on that shiny cover and my imagination locked within those pages. I often times considered just writing the battles and joys I endured as a child/young woman, but could never figure out where to begin. It is a goal I have (writing an autobiography), but I am in no rush. I have only lived a few of my years, so until I am much older, I can hold off.

Frustration part 1

My frustrations with my writings are at an all time high. It seems that it is a never ending cycle of creative thoughts and lost memories. The moment I start to get lost in my writing, I get writer's block. Followed by that bump, I lose my stories all together, causing memories to be lost. And no, this is not a one time concurrence. It has happened numerous times. I save them to the computer hard-drive, a junk drive, and they still disappear into the dark abyss in which they will never been heard from or seen again. I do all I can to prevent it from happening, and for over a year, I succeed. But, alas, I have failed yet again. My stories are gone. Six months have passed and still no sign of my memory stick (junk drive).

The story I was working on was (honestly) my best work yet. I loved the entire plot line and everything I had written. Maybe I can take ideas I have from that one and place them into a new story? Who knows. We will see where the next story takes me.

I want to become a writer, even if I end up only making a small amount of money. It'd be nice to live off my earnings, but that is not my initial goal. I have always wanted people to hear what lies within my imagination and thoughts. What is behind this face of mine. I want my opinions of love, deceit, madness, and fantasy to blend together on the pages of a book. Is that truly too much to ask? Maybe, but who is to say for sure.

I am not going to give up on my dream to write, no matter my levels of frustration. I have been an aspiring author since I was young, with little ground to run on. My only issue is that I lose interest after a while. That is where my problems lie for the most part (aside from my stories running off on their own). Most writers are on a schedule. I don't want to be told that I have to write a novel, turn in the final draft, and be completely satisfied by a set date..."or else." I write when the urge comes to me. Not when I am instructed. However, if I am able to complete an entire story/book within their timeline, I wouldn't be one to complain. It'd be a miracle to be honest.

Well, off I go. A timeline is desired to begin writing again. I just hope that this next story I start doesn't disappear too.