Who ordered the fried brain?

If I am not writing, I am thinking about writing. I am thinking about what could happen next and where I could take this story. I spend so much time with my writing on my mind, I am starting to get worn out. I wish I could just turn my brain off for just a couple of days.

For anyone who truly knows me, knows that is easier said than done. I am what is referred to as a “worry wart.” I worry about things that I have no control over, and worry about if I made the right decision with the things I do have control over. I plan, plan, plan and then change the plan while I am following it! It is overwhelming to say the least.

I didn’t write yesterday because I was quite busy, but today I’m home with no real plans. I’ve been staring at the many words I already have written for what seems like an eternity, but has actually been just a few minutes.

I want to write, but where I have placed my characters is not where I want them. And it driving me insane. I am not sure how I want them to meet face to face. Every time I think I’ve got the perfect way, I find myself disappointed. I continue writing though. I will just a few spaces down and start something new with my characters. The idea is that I will eventually be able to piece each section with another to make my many ideas flow together.

I am beginning to understand why many authors are known drinkers.

How in the hell?

I turned to my sister tonight. She has gotten her own book published. It is a non-fiction art piece, but the concept of writing a book is all the same, genre aside. I explained my situation to her, in hopes she had some secret to success that might help me…

Getting my many ideas and thoughts onto my open word document is a lot harder than one might think, especially when your tooth is throbbing with each breath you take. I have created the main characters, plot, back story, and a few details that are needed. I get on a roll, pages get written. I wrote six pages in a period of two hours or so (during naptime of course). My ideas flowing effortlessly from my fingertips. And then, out of no where, I am stumped again. Sometimes, I wish I were great at what I do without much practice.

Her word were simple: practice makes perfect, my love.

Sometimes, I just want to do want to start banging my head on the computer. Dammit, I know she is right by a landslide, but I just want to bash my head into the keyboard! My sister has never steered me wrong and pointed me every right direction. I love her. However, her words sometimes gets me feeling like a fish eating a hooked worm. I hungrily seek out her guidance and get reeled into a truth I sometimes don’t want to be involved with. I love hearing all the things she has to tell me and I never ignore any of it. I may not want to hear it, but I am grateful she is completely honest and there for me. Sometimes, I just want to be lied to, like “writing will always be easy, filled with rainbows, unicorns, and daisies!” (Not really.)

I am going to open my Microsoft Word and get back to writing. Little one is in bed, giving me the time to write.