Let's be honest

Almost a year ago, I began a blog for my journey through writing. And point blank? I suck. No really, I do.

After nearly a year of being on hiatus and dealing with all that comes with the mother territory, I am finally getting the chance to sit down and begin writing again. When I say that, it does not mean that I haven't written periodically, because I honestly have. It just means that being a mother always comes before being a writer. And being a mother also includes being a student and wife to set a stable example for my son. (Speaking of my son, I will be telling about a few details pertaining to recent events regarding Mister Jericho in a future blog entry very soon. I promise.)

When you look at it, I am a mother, a wife, a writer, a blogger, a vlogger (video blogger), a student, I work two part time jobs, and I am a woman that just wants a night to herself sometimes to curl up with a good book! And because of all the things I take on every day of my life by choice, having all of this on one plate can get very hectic and I lose track of things...including this blog.

Either way, I am hoping to do more writing this year. It is sort of like my new year's resolution, I suppose.

As I have said in the past, here goes nothing. Going to bang my head against the keyboard and let the creative juices flow the best that I can.

Best writing yet.

I now understand why authors often times drink all the time. It brings out the imaginative juices found within your being. I had the best writing session with the most creativity yet while drunk. Writing is difficult, but with a little liquid courage, I overcame the obstacle I faced with getting some more done. I won't be making it a habit, but I will be trying to do better. Still.

And Stay Out…!

I seem to have gotten past some of my writer's block at last. It is so nice. I may not be going in order like I normally do, which I am enjoying honestly. I am always so anal about how I write, but I think that is what my main issue is and why I start to hate writing after a while. I am back to loving it. It is rather nice actually, which I stop being so controlling and having to have it done a certain way. Eventually, I may be able to piece it all together in the story line.

Silence to the Brain Some Good

Just a quick update since I haven't written an entry in a while.

After a much needed break from writing, today I am returning to my word processor and continuing my efforts to write. It is not as easy as I had hoped it would be (like I've said), but I am not going to give up. I have wanted this for so long.

Until next time.

Who ordered the fried brain?

If I am not writing, I am thinking about writing. I am thinking about what could happen next and where I could take this story. I spend so much time with my writing on my mind, I am starting to get worn out. I wish I could just turn my brain off for just a couple of days.

For anyone who truly knows me, knows that is easier said than done. I am what is referred to as a “worry wart.” I worry about things that I have no control over, and worry about if I made the right decision with the things I do have control over. I plan, plan, plan and then change the plan while I am following it! It is overwhelming to say the least.

I didn’t write yesterday because I was quite busy, but today I’m home with no real plans. I’ve been staring at the many words I already have written for what seems like an eternity, but has actually been just a few minutes.

I want to write, but where I have placed my characters is not where I want them. And it driving me insane. I am not sure how I want them to meet face to face. Every time I think I’ve got the perfect way, I find myself disappointed. I continue writing though. I will just a few spaces down and start something new with my characters. The idea is that I will eventually be able to piece each section with another to make my many ideas flow together.

I am beginning to understand why many authors are known drinkers.

How in the hell?

I turned to my sister tonight. She has gotten her own book published. It is a non-fiction art piece, but the concept of writing a book is all the same, genre aside. I explained my situation to her, in hopes she had some secret to success that might help me…

Getting my many ideas and thoughts onto my open word document is a lot harder than one might think, especially when your tooth is throbbing with each breath you take. I have created the main characters, plot, back story, and a few details that are needed. I get on a roll, pages get written. I wrote six pages in a period of two hours or so (during naptime of course). My ideas flowing effortlessly from my fingertips. And then, out of no where, I am stumped again. Sometimes, I wish I were great at what I do without much practice.

Her word were simple: practice makes perfect, my love.

Sometimes, I just want to do want to start banging my head on the computer. Dammit, I know she is right by a landslide, but I just want to bash my head into the keyboard! My sister has never steered me wrong and pointed me every right direction. I love her. However, her words sometimes gets me feeling like a fish eating a hooked worm. I hungrily seek out her guidance and get reeled into a truth I sometimes don’t want to be involved with. I love hearing all the things she has to tell me and I never ignore any of it. I may not want to hear it, but I am grateful she is completely honest and there for me. Sometimes, I just want to be lied to, like “writing will always be easy, filled with rainbows, unicorns, and daisies!” (Not really.)

I am going to open my Microsoft Word and get back to writing. Little one is in bed, giving me the time to write.

We're All a Little Mad Here

As I posted yesterday, I had created the plot and characters yesterday. Today, I completed the first chapter with I thought was happiness. Looking at it again, I am not entirely sure I am satisfied with it. It is headed in a nice direction so far, but I see myself changing it for about the third time.

Is this really what authors go through? I suppose "slipping into madness with ease" fits quite well, considering that I see myself going mad over my story a time or two in the future. Seeing as writing runs in my family, I suppose I could be fair in saying, "we're all a little mad here?" (Sorry Sis, couldn't resist!)

My great grandmother had written a book about her mother's life several, several years ago. I don't believe I was even a twinkle in my father's eyes at the time it was released. Her book wasn't a big hit, so barely anyone know who she is. I have one of the only copies left resting peacefully in a safe place. My sister however, published a book quite recently about her experience in crossing that line to understand prejudice. I have read the beginning of it, thanks to amazon. I haven't read the entire book yet, but I will at some point...soon I am hoping. If you are curious about my sister, here is one of her blogs: http://exploringprejudice.blogspot.com/

When it comes to my own writing, I have always wanted to have a novel published with my name on that shiny cover and my imagination locked within those pages. I often times considered just writing the battles and joys I endured as a child/young woman, but could never figure out where to begin. It is a goal I have (writing an autobiography), but I am in no rush. I have only lived a few of my years, so until I am much older, I can hold off.